


I'll love you in this life and the next

by eDawg



Series: Hurt and healed [1]
Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eDawg/pseuds/eDawg
Summary: There was too much blood. Beatrice tried to hide this thought from herself. She had to believe there was a chance that Ava would live.or Ava is hurt and Beatrice won't leave her side.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Series: Hurt and healed [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111709
Comments: 14
Kudos: 239





	1. Beatrice

There was too much blood. Beatrice tried to hide this thought from herself. She had to believe there was a chance that Ava would live. For the first time she began to understand what Mary was feeling the night that Shannon died. (Something she had never wanted to understand.) There had to be a way to save Ava.  _ There had to be. Oh God please. Please.  _ But the wound wasn’t healing. Ava had used up all of the halo’s power to save everybody right as the blade went through her. One of the Swiss Guard had gotten to her before Beatrice could. And now she was going to die and Beatrice had never told her how she really felt. 

_ Friend by your side… check  _ echoed in her head. Friend wasn’t the right word for their relationship. Beatrice was fluent in many languages but there didn’t seem to be a word for what Ava and her had. Whatever it was it was very… potent. From the first moment when Ava had sat next to her at lunch Beatrice knew that Ava would be special to her. And then later when Mother Superion had pushed her too far and Ava had collapsed in her arms this feeling was reinforced. With a crying Ava in her arms Beatrice had known that she would upturn her life. Would change her into a person that no longer had to hide. 

Beatrice had known that something might go wrong. She likes to be prepared for any and all outcomes. At ARQ-Tech when she had found herself starting to fall for the Halo Bearer (after they had read Sister Melanie’s entry) she had set out to write Ava a letter. She folded it and put it in an envelope labeled  _ For Ava when I’m Gone  _ and she put it with her stuff. She never intended to give it to her but it made her feel better that it was there. 

> _ Dear Ava, _
> 
> _ As I write this you are asleep on a couch. You have just phased through the twenty foot wall and I am so proud of you.  _
> 
> _ When we first met, you had only just started your new life. In many ways you were a child, experiencing everything for the first time. And I was jealous of you. Of the wonder, and excitement in your eyes at every little thing. Wonder that was stolen from me long ago. I did not realize how much I was missing it until I saw you at ARQ-Tech (right before I shot a tranquilizer into your neck). You were free. Freer than I had ever let myself be. I was envious of your child-like wonder. Your world was new and wide with possibilities, and I wanted to be a part of it.  _
> 
> _ Later when you fell into my arms and cried I found yet again that I was jealous of you. You were so valuable in my arms, in a way I have not been able to be for a long time. I did not know what to say to you then. You were so lost and alone. And my heart broke for you. If I could I would have taken a fraction of your pain as my own. To feel it. To understand what it was to be you. Now I make a promise to you. Your pain is my pain and your joy is my joy.  _
> 
> _ When you left I felt jealous. I chose my path long ago, but for a moment I wished that I could just for a moment be as selfish as you were.  _
> 
> _ Then you had to come back proving to everyone but Mary that they had underestimated you. You saved both Mary’s and my life that day. But the fear in your eyes when you could not move your legs nearly killed me. My heart broke for you a little more in that moment. And it broke even more just a short moment ago when you were in the wall. You will never again be alone. This much I swear to you on all I hold holy. Even if I am gone, remember your sisters will be there for you always.  _
> 
> _ If you are wondering why I am writing you a letter about all of the times I have been jealous and brokenhearted because of you Ava, I don’t blame you. The truth is I feel like the next thing I am about to write needs a preamble. Maybe the moment you stumbled into my life I was doomed or maybe it was just a few minutes ago when I almost kissed you. But the truth is I love you. And now I find that I am falling for you. _
> 
> _ I thought that I knew what love is but I didn't or at least not every dimension of it. Now I do and it’s almost more than I can bear. The way I love you is not the same way I love my Sisters. To love you was the greatest honor of my life. Maybe it is selfish to tell you this now but if I don’t write this down now I will never be able to rest in peace.  _
> 
> _ The truth is my love for you has rearranged something deep inside of me and now I don’t know how to go back to the way I was before I knew you. I don’t think I want to. You see Ava, now the world is new and full of wonder. I have relearned how to be vulnerable. And I have learned to be selfish on some occasions. I no longer have to be jealous of you. I am no longer brokenhearted because my heart is so full of my love for you. Love for you has taught me all of this. Ava, you have been my teacher. In all of my years of being a student never have I learned a lesson as important as the lessons you have taught me.  _
> 
> _ Ava you have set me free and I will never stop being thankful to you in this life or the next. _
> 
> _ Love, _
> 
> _ Bea  _

It had never even occurred to her that Ava might die. But Ava can’t die not now, she would not let her. Ava couldn’t die now she had only just gotten her life back. She had been murdered by a evil nun, but this nun would make sure that she was safe. This nun would love her. 

“Come on Ava,” whispered Beatrice. The blood was slowing down. As the halo started to recharge blood started to clot. But it didn’t seem fast enough. Beatrice knew that it would take a full seven minutes for the halo to be at full power. But that seemed to be an eternity. And Ava had released so much power that Beatrice didn’t know if it would take longer. Never in training had Ava released so much energy so Beatrice didn’t have the proper data. This made her nervous. Beatrice wasn’t used to not knowing.

“Beatrice we have to go now,” said Mary. She was running over. She looked frantic. This worried Beatrice as well. Mary was normally so unflappable. And she hadn’t even seen Ava yet. 

“We can’t… Ava is..” Beatrice started to cry. It was the second time she had cried in the last two days after years of never crying.

“Ava is going to be fine. But we won’t be if we stay here,” said Mary. Beatrice knew that she was right. The bleeding was slowing down now. In a few seconds it will have stopped entirely. 

“Help me carry her,” was all Beatrice could say. The two of them carried Ava. Lilith half dragged Camila and half helped Camila walk. All of them were in bad shape. It seemed to take forever to get to the van. But by the time they got there Ava had stopped bleeding so Beatrice took that to be a good sign. Ava had never taken this long to heal though. It was causing Beatrice’s heart to beat unnaturally loud in her ears. There was a lump in her throat and she was having a hard time swallowing. 

Mary was in the driver’s seat with Lilith in the passenger seat. Camila and Beatrice were with Ava in the back. Mary turned to look at Beatrice out of habit. Even when Shannon was their leader it was well known that Beatrice was their tactician. A burden she was normally very happy to play. 

“Where are we headed?” she asked. Beatrice typed an address into her phone and handed it to Mary. Her parents had an estate in Umbria. It wouldn’t be too long of a drive. Or least, Beatrice hoped it wouldn’t. 

“We should be able to use my parents house,” said Beatrice. For once Mary didn’t quip about how many houses Beatrice had. Her team really needed a place to crash. 

“How’s Ava?” asked Mary. 

“The bleeding has stopped,” said Camila. Camila wasn’t looking that great either but she seemed to be mostly alright. There was a cut right above her eye that needed tending to. Beatrice changed focus for the first time to tend to Camila’s wounds. 

“So the halo has started to work. That’s at least good news,” said Mary.

“It’s never taken this long for Ava to heal,” said Beatrice.

“She’s going to be fine Bea, I promise,” said Mary.

“I hope so,” said Beatrice.

A few hours later they pulled up the drive of a huge estate. It was a very beautiful house that looked over the rolling hills of Italy. Though house was hardly the right word for it. Mary had to do a double take when google maps announced that their destination was on their right. One couldn’t even see the manor house from the road. Beatrice got out of the van to type in the code for the gate. Though less famous for it Umbria produced wine and this was Beatrice family’s small hobby vineyard.

“Shit that…,” Mary was speechless. She sometimes forgot how rich Beatrice because unlike a certain other person she could name she hardly ever talked about it. Sometimes she forgot that Beatrice’s family had estates all over the world. Sometimes. 

Beatrice was quiet when they were driving up the long drive to her parent’s house. She was aware that if Ava was awake right now she would be filling the silence with a consent stream of commentary. But Ava was still as a stone. It was so rare to see Ava like this. It made Beatrice want to cry again. 

Mary pulled up in front of the front door. There were people who seemed entirely shocked to see them. A man approached the van. He looked unsure what to do about this odd van that held blood soaked nuns. He wrapped on the driver side window. Mary looked back to Beatrice for help.

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of this,” said Beatrice. She got out of the van and approached the man. His face went from confused to respectful when he saw Beatrice. Moments later everyone who had gathered around had gone back to work. Beatrice unlocked the door with her thumb print. Lilith and Mary helped carry Ava into the house Camila followed. 

The women took time to clean themselves up, leaving Beatrice and Ava alone. Ava was lying on a couch with her head resting on Beatrice’s lap. Beatrice found herself praying. Though to whom she wasn’t sure. Perhaps she was praying to God or maybe she was praying to Ava herself or maybe she was praying to the halo. She was tired, and hungry, covered in blood, most of it not her own, seconds away from tears but she couldn’t move. She would keep vigil over Ava.

“Almighty God, I entrust Ava who is dear to me to your never-failing care and love, for this life and the life to come, knowing you are doing for Ava better things than I can desire or pray for; through Jesus Christ our lord. Amen,” she whispered into Ava’s ear. Then the dam broke and all of the pain and fear of the day came rushing out. 

“Please don’t cry Bea,” came a voice. Beatrice looked down. Ava was smiling weakly at her. 

“Ava you’re awake!” said Beatrice. Ava set up into Beatrice’s space so her face was inches away from Beatrice’s.

“I’m exceptionally hard to kill,” she said. Beatrice let out a weak laugh. 

“I guess you are,” said Beatrice. She wrapped her arms around Ava’s neck. Their lips were almost touching. It would be forever unclear to both women who closed the gap between their lips but the next thing Ava knew she was kissing Beatrice and it was everything. 

__


	2. Ava

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops I wrote more

Ava screamed, and with that scream she released all of her joy, fear, pain, excitement, and love powering the halo in a way she had never before. A white light burst forth from her back. Then she crashed to the ground and the world went black.

The next thing she knew she was in a weird room she had never seen before. It looked like a church. There was a vaulted ceiling and big gothic windows. Light was streaming through the windows filling the room with dancing multi-colored light. For a moment Ava was alone and then the room filled with other women. Ava recognized the woman closest to her as Shannon.

“Welcome Ava, Halo Bearer,” said Shannon. 

“No offence but why the fuck am I here?” asked Ava “also where the fuck is here.” Shannon smiled; she didn’t look even a little bit offended. 

“When a halo bearer gets mortally injured, she comes here to be with her sisters,” said Shannon. Well that sucked Ava really wished she had lived a little longer on her second chance at life. Apparently, she was never meant to have a long life. She had almost died at age seven, she had died at age nineteen and a few short weeks later she died again. 

“Does this mean that I’m dead?” asked Ava. 

“This place is more like a waiting room for death, sweet one,” said a nun that Ava knew to be Areala.

“Ahh! yeah now everything makes sense,” said Ava sarcastically. Areala laughed. 

“Keep your humor little one it will serve you well. What I meant to say is in this place you will decide to go back or to move on to the next life. We are here to help you,” said Areala.

“Great! I want to go back to my friends,” said Ava.

“As you wish,” said Areala. She walked up to Ava and kissed her on the cheek.

“Send my love to Mary,” said Shannon. Then the room where Ava was standing faded before her. 

The first thing she noticed when she got back into her body was the pain. She had a terrible pain in her abdomen. The next thing that she noticed was that she couldn’t move. This sent her into a panic. She couldn’t even open her eyes. This was worse than when she was in the orphanage. It took a moment to calm down her spiraling thoughts. Beatrice said that her sisters would always be there for her even if she was a talking head in a bag. Sweet Beatrice who was probably worried for her right now. If she was okay. Ava pushed that thought out of her head. There was no way that Beatrice wasn’t okay. It was Beatrice, Beatrice was a badass. 

It took a moment for her to realize it, but she could hear what was going on around her. She could also feel it. This calmed her down a little. When she was paralyzed, she couldn’t feel anything below her chest but now she could feel everything. That was mostly good. She didn’t dig the pain. _I can still feel that means the halo is still working. It must be still recharging. I wonder how long it will take. Seven minutes? Or maybe it will take longer because of how much I used? Why doesn’t this thing have a fucking instruction manual?_

Ava was flying. Well she thought that maybe Beatrice and Mary were carrying her. That seemed to be far more likely. The Warrior Sisters must be in a hurry to get out of the Vatican. She didn’t blame them, they had after all just blown it up. Ava supposed that meant they were fugitives on the run. When she was seven, (or let’s be honest just a few days ago) Ava would have found the idea of being a fugitive exciting. But now it seemed scary. Where did nuns who blew up the Vatican go? 

Ava must have dozed off in the van because the next thing she knew it had stopped. When she first became aware of her surroundings (as aware as one could be in a conscious unconscious state that Ava was in) she had to remind herself that not being able to move was only temporary. From what she could tell the place that nuns went to when on the run was a very big manor house on a very beautiful vineyard. She almost forgot that Beatrice was very rich. Or at least her family was. 

Ava dozed off again. She woke up to Beatrice whispering in her ear. 

“Almighty God, I entrust Ava who is dear to me to your never-failing care and love, for this life and the life to come, knowing you are doing for Ava better things than I can desire or pray for; through Jesus Christ our lord. Amen,” then she started to cry. Not the quiet tears she cried at ARQ-Tech but sobs. It broke Ava’s heart. And before she knew it, she found that she was talking out loud. 

“Please don’t cry Bea,” said Ava. Beatrice looked down. Ava was smiling weakly at her. 

“Ava you’re awake!” said Beatrice. Ava set up into Beatrice’s space, so her face was inches away from Beatrice’s.

“I’m exceptionally hard to kill,” she said. Beatrice let out a weak laugh. 

“I guess you are,” said Beatrice. She wrapped her arms around Ava’s neck. Their lips were almost touching. It would be forever unclear to both women who closed the gap between their lips but the next thing Ava knew she was kissing Beatrice and it was everything. 

The kiss clicked something in place in Ava’s head. It was as if the truth had been at the edge of her consciousness and the kiss had brought it into the light; she was in love with Beatrice. And even more wild than this revelation was that Beatrice had feelings for her as well. The world was odd indeed. How could a girl so talented, badass, and beautiful have romantic feelings for a girl like Ava? 

Beatrice pulled away first. For a moment Ava got lost in her eyes. (It was like Beatrice had taken over her brain. Like it used to be that Ava just had thoughts but now all of her thoughts were filtered through the lens of Beatrice. Ava wondered how and when this had happened.) Then that moment ended, and they were kissing once more.

Newly showered and in fresh clothes Mary went to check on the Halo bearer only to find her making out with Beatrice. She smiled to herself, it was about time. She had noticed the intense focus that Beatrice had for Ava. During the battle it was like every move she took was calculated to minute detail based on where Ava was. Beatrice was hyper aware of every little move Ava made, way more than her other sisters. If Beatrice was even a fraction less of a fighter than she was her focus on Ava would have gotten her killed. But Beatrice was a badass. 

“It’s about damn time,” said Mary startling the two lovers. Beatrice turned beat red. For the first time she seemed to notice that she had blood all over her, most of it, Ava’s. 

“I should go clean up,” she said before disappearing. Ava stayed just a little longer. She turned to Mary.

“When I was unconscious, I went to a place. Shannon was there. She told me to send her love to her,” said Ava. She spoke very quickly as if she worried, she wouldn’t be able to get the words out.

“Thank you for telling me that it means a lot,” said Mary. She had tears in her eyes. Ava gave her a hug before going to take a shower of her own. 

When everyone had cleaned up they had a war council of sorts on the back deck overlooking the grape vines. Beatrice broke out some wine and threw together the fanciest charcuterie board Ava had ever seen. She hadn’t seen many. It was the most refined war meeting that Mary had ever been too and for the first time she was starting to see the merits of having rich friends.

“And now to our last piece of business,” said Mary with a smirk. “Ava and Beatrice kissed earlier today.” Both women turned beet red.

“Wait what?’ asked Lilith. 

“Yes! Pay up Lilith,” said Camila. 

“Do I even want to know?” asked Ava. 

“We made a bet on how long it would take for you two to kiss,” said Lilith.

“And guess what I Just won,” said Camila.

“Wait just one moment. You made a bet and nobody let me in on the action?” said Mary. 

“Rude,” said Ava at the same time. Beatrice just sat there with her face in her hands. This was not the end of their war council that she had envisioned. She had hoped that Ava and her could have figured out what they meant to each other before their family found out but life didn’t seem to go her way. When she looked up though she saw nothing but kind faces. Ava quietly took her hand and interlocked their fingers. Life wasn’t going her way but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This is the last Chapter for real. it might have gotten weird but oh well.   
> Thank for all of your kudos.  
> Peace Friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading this! please leave comments so I don't feel like I'm screaming into the void.
> 
> Peace Everyone!


End file.
